How dare you. How dare you make me the happiest girl on earth, then cut ties with me? How dare you tell me you love me every night, then barely say a word? How could you give up? How can your handsome face be curved up in a smile while my worthless on is frowning? How can you see how miserable I am and still gaze upon her? She doesn’t know how lucky she is to physically see your lips turn up in a chuckle. She doesn’t realize the privilege it is to actually speak to you and hear your voice beside her, talking back. She doesn’t know the significance of looking into your eyes. She doesn’t understand. She doesn’t fucking get it. And she never will. I would do anything for you. I’d watch wet paint dry if it meant I could spend time with you. I’d walk through a storm willingly to know your embrace was at the end. Did you even mean it? Did you even want “us”? Did those countless hours mean nothing? You ripped out that beating object inside my chest. But I let you do it. I let you in. I let you attach. I let you love me. And this is what I get. You’re happy and I’m a wreck, like it always seems to happen. Forgive me for thinking it was different this time.
Okay, if you have the guts to declare that you’re following your dream no matter what, props to you. You have my full support. I don’t care what you’re doing as long as you love it and you’re going to give it your all. That shows drive, perseverance, and passion. You could be great at whatever you do or honestly awful at it, but saying that you’re doing something you love is a lot more than most people can say. How dare somebody tell you to give up on your dream? How dare somebody who has their own dreams tell another dreamer to give up? They are in absolutely no place to put down somebody brave enough to announce their dream and pursue it. As a matter of fact, nobody is.
Anybody chasing a dream or wanting to chase a dream - go for it and never look back at the people discouraging you. They’ll be the ones wishing they’d followed suit.
I hope you’re reading this.
Music is so incredibly powerful. I can’t believe all of the emotions that I’ve encountered tonight just by hearing ten songs. I’ve smiled, sighed, and reminisced. I remember that call in summer. I remember those voicemails (in fact, I still have one). Your chuckle, your smile, and your heart are so wonderful. I can’t imagine my world without stumbling upon your presence. Things change and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I don’t care if you don’t know what to say. I won’t sleep tonight - I’ll think of you.
This week has absolutely sucked, to be honest. Monday was terrible for many, many reasons. I have never been so weak before in my life. Tuesday was average, but boring because we did nothing on our first day of school. Today they assigned so much homework that I didn’t feel like doing until 9:30. But my point to this post…
I feel so alone. I feel miserable, worthless, hurt and depressed. I have great friends, a wonderful family, a nice house and a good school. I shouldn’t feel so down. But something is missing. And that something not being there makes me feel horrible. I feel I’ve been stepped on. I feel forgotten and empty. I was put back on the shelf for a later date. There’s something newer and shinier out there to chase after. My point is that I’ve never been this low before. I feel like I have no one to turn to and that I need to cry every second. I hide my emotions well at school and everyone assumes I’m fine. I hate lying about it too. “Oh I’m okay.” “Yeah, I’m just fine. How are you?” It all gets old. Deep down I know I’m not fine. In all honesty, I’m horrible. I don’t know where to turn and feel like I’m falling. When I look down, there is no net to catch me at the bottom.
I always smiled at your texts. My eyes would light up when I saw your name on my phone’s screen. Your name doesn’t show up on my phone anymore, though. The only time it does is when I text you first. What happened to you? A new girl had to enter your life and steal all of your attention. You said you wouldn’t leave me like the rest of them did. You said you’d never abandon me. Well here I am, alone, like I always end up. All I ask is that you remember me from time to time and actually stay in touch with me. You say that you’ll always have feelings for me and that I’ll always be in your heart. Does that still reign true? Even with her occupying your thoughts? I used to be that twinkle in your eye, but now she snatched you away. I guess it’s time for me to rebuild my defenses.
Can I just meet someone and fall in love? We can cuddle and take cute pictures together. We can be each other’s best friend and shoulder to cry on. I’d hold your hand and kiss you any chance I got. I would stay up on the phone with you until I fell asleep to your voice. We’d be great, I promise.
I just want someone to love, who will love me back in the same way. Someone who I can cuddle, watch movies and take cute pictures with. Someone who I can kiss, hug and hold. I’m not that bad of a person… I don’t understand why they all leave. I have good head on my shoulders. My heart may be scarred and cracked, but it’s kind and caring. I would give it to you if you can patch it up. Why do they have to pull the strings of my heart and abandon me? What’s so bad about the idea of staying with me?